|Has the stress and strain of Inquisitional examination got you down?|
Fed up with the agony of a constantly aching back, throbbing migraines, burning feet, intestinal cramping, shattered teeth and severed tongues? Atone for all these symptoms and more with Alleluia™ pain reliever.
New and improved Alleluia™ alleviates all types of physical discomfort from pinched nerves to hyperextended joints to missing fingernails! Only Alleluia™ can save you from the painful wrack of third degree burns, the blinding torment of ocular extrication and the maddening torque of splintered bones.
|Alleluia™ The only salvation you'll ever need.|
Available at fine apothecaria everywhere.
|Not intended to remedy ecumenical disputes, absolve trial by fire or rescue heretical souls.|
Use only as directed by licensed Inquisitor. Side effects may include unfounded accusation,
involuntary admissions of guilt, repression of religious and political freedom, unrelenting
screaming, hallucinatory dementia and permanent fatality.