Has the stress and strain of Inquisitional examination got you down?
Fed up with the agony of a constantly aching back, throbbing migraines, burning feet, intestinal cramping, shattered teeth and severed tongues? Atone for all these symptoms and more with Alleluiapain reliever.
New and improved Alleluia
alleviates all types of physical discomfort from pinched nerves to hyperextended joints to missing fingernails! Only Alleluiacan save you from the painful wrack of third degree burns, the blinding torment of ocular extrication and the maddening torque of splintered bones.
AlleluiaThe only salvation you'll ever need.
Available at fine apothecaria everywhere.
Not intended to remedy ecumenical disputes, absolve trial by fire or rescue heretical souls.
Use only as directed by licensed Inquisitor. Side effects may include unfounded accusation,
involuntary admissions of guilt, repression of religious and political freedom, unrelenting
screaming, hallucinatory dementia and permanent fatality.

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