Fed up with being chained to your heavy, cumbersome, obsolete vacuum cleaner? Sick and tired of fumbling around with awkward hoses and wands? Repulsed by choking clouds of dust when you dispose of the bag? Frustrated by tripping over that nasty power cord and snagging it around your furniture?
Then rejoice! The Quantum BlackDot SuperVac utilizes a radical new method for cleaning all types of rugs and floors. The BlackDot SuperVac is self-powered, so theres no cord to trip over or snag. The economical size of the Quantum BlackDot vacuum eliminates the need for any hoses and lets you easily clean even the smallest, tightest nooks and crannies in your house. The quantum singularity of the BlackDot doesnt require bags or canisters that need to be emptied, so theres never any contamination of dirt, dust or mildew spores back into your house. Your home will sparkle like its brand new!
There are thousands of uses for the Quantum BlackDot SuperVac. Simply turn the patented gravitational power level dial to the proper setting and vacuum away to your hearts content! Soap scum is sucked away like magic, waxy build-up scoured down to nothing and obstinate stains bleached clean as a whistle! Piling trash bags at the curbside is a thing of the past and dirty dishes are a snap, crackle, poof! Shaving or make-up removal become pure delight instead of a daily grind. Not only does the BlackDot SuperVac easily remove all pet hair from your home, it can also eliminate any unwanted pets.
The revolutionary subatomic void inside the BlackDot is virtually eternal and comes with a full money-back guarantee covering three millenia. If you dont have anything that needs to be cleaned, then all it takes is a weekly feeding of the BlackDot singularity with at least one pound of unwanted mass like piles of unpaid bills, two month old leftovers, illegal toxic petro-chemicals or revolting canine fecal matter to prevent premature evaporation. The technologically cutting-edge Quantum BlackDot SuperVac comes complete with its own integral magnetic bottle, lead-lined radiation suit and Geiger counter for only $9,999. Order now while supplies still last.
|The Quantum BlackDot SuperVac :|
One small step for mankind, one immense drop in supernova cleaning.
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