SAN FRANCISCO Ca (AP) The San Francisco Giants announced today that wonder boy pitching prospect Harry Potter has signed a five year deal with the club. Potter's agent, J.K. Rowling, declined to discuss the specific terms of the contract, however it is rumored to be in the range of 2 million golden Galleons per year. This is approximately one million dollars higher than the 25 million annual salary of Alex Rodriguez. If true, Potter will be the highest paid player in major league history.
New Giants pitching coach Severus Snape characterized Potter as a dazzling, flamethrowing "power" pitcher with an uncanny bludgeoning slider, a mind- bending sidewinder esscurve, a disappearing "cloaked" change up and an annoy- ingly untouchable flitter. Although Potter displayed spells of wildness during his senior year at Hogwarts, he was 13-0 with a 0.04 ERA for the Warlocks. Since the Giants are desperate for pitching, it is assumed that he will make their roster during spring training on raw talent alone. "The kid has a magical sense for the game that few rookies exhibit," revealed Snape. "It's as if he were destined to succeed. We prophesize the very highest aspirations for the lad," he commented conspiritorily.
The signings of other important draft picks were also announced by several teams. The Tampa Bay Devil Rays have signed Potter's teammate, slick under- handed pitcher Draco Malfoy while the Angels have agreed to terms with arcane first rounder Sirius "Magic" Black. The Minnesota Twins are close to closing deals with the outfield tandem of Fred and George Weasley and the Arizona Diamondbacks are involved in secretive negotiations with Peter Pettigrew, the agent for ambitious prospect Tom Riddle. Little is known about the unheralded Riddle except that he pitched for a semi-pro Albanian team.
It appears that the Washington Nationelles may be interested in pursuing the perplexing prospect of Hermione Granger despite the fact that she throws like an English girl. Japanese baseball teams have also been active in seeking new talent. The Chunichi Dragons have agreed to terms with catcher Rubeus Hagrid while the Yomiuri Giants have announced the signing of Hagrid's superpower hitting stepbrother Grawp. The Washington Wizards and the Minnesota Timber wolves are reportedly investigating similar possibilities at the Scottish Hogwarts Academy.