Hyperdrive mechanic + co-pilot for Corellian light freighter; must not be clean shaven; lucrative tax free income and fringe benefits, thrilling adventures in exotic systems; must be willing to ignore legalities; ask surreptitiously for Solo at Mos Eisley drop field,
pad ζðÞ Tatooine |
| Fireman, 3 yr accreditation at flamethrower, accelerants and document transport; extensive criminal background check and blood tests; informant bonus; apply London Fire District 451 |
Certified driver/crabclaw loader for respected corporation; two year hitch; union pay scale, half-scale hiberation pay; light miles points + medical expenses; bonus for Queen elimination
Colonial Marines, Centauri Prime Central |
Imperial Guard dispatcher, Echelon Alpha; previous training in
all types of combat; utterly loyal, totally ruthless and dedicated
to performance of mission; lifetime commitment; full disability coverage; Imperial Red Guard Barracks, Coruscant |
Receiving clerk at LA Soylent plant, night shift only; good people skills and experience with ANATOS spreadsheet; must be tight lipped, trustworthy and pass security check; nonunion rates;
4297-6500-13 for interview |
| Plowman/dairy herder; good with mules; 4 am to sundown; 12K with loft + vittles; apply Maggot Farm, East Downs, Shire |
| Droid body shop repairman - prior experience with metallic, phenolic, ceramic + nano-helix; pod piloting a plus; age unimportant; Equal Enslavement Opportunity employer; inquire at Watto's SpaceSalvage Yard & TechEmporium, Mos Espa |
| Experienced wolf & spider exterminator; Mirkwood Regional hunting license req; days, nights, weekends, holidays on call 24/7; 15K plus bonuses for limit overages; send resumé and references to Rivendell Conservancy Board |
| Trained exorcism expert; undeterred by infernal manifestations; adept at deleviation & dispoltergeisting; low pay but heavenly fulfilling position; apply in person to Georgetown Wash DC Archdiocese for very private interview |
| Nonunion miners: magmic rylothium levraft ladlers - Mustafar Manufacturing; chemospheric tibanna meteorship scoopers - Bespin; apply Calrissian LLC; no health or death benefits |
Cruise line deckhand for Grey Havens - Dol Amroth venture; proficiency with blades, bow + catapult nec; enlistment comp + merited share of proceeds; apply in person to Kapitan Korsar
at Slip #32, Umbar |
| Dental technician for custom specialist practice; implantation, removal and denture fitting of lupine canines, dinosaur cuspids, shark incisors, snake fangs and piranha needles; superior scale wage, paid holiday and vacation, 401K, idyllic island setting; send resumé to drmoreau@lostsouls.com |
Archeology professor at Marshall College; beginner + advanced classes three days per week plus half day student conferences;
tenure plus funding for objet d'art expeditions; dead languages erudition, witty irony, rugged good looks, weapons proficiency, inflexible opposition to all forms of oppression and aptitude for
quick thinking in perilous situations necessary; survival questionable;
hefty compensation for recovered artifacts; grave desecration +
looting not a problem |
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| Zookeeper handler, reptilian experience prereq; desire to learn new techniques and willingness to get extremely dirty; complete health coverage + death benefits; operations director, security supervisor and main-frame programmer positions also avail; submit application + salary reqs to jurassic.islanublar/aol.com |
| Waste management tech; experience with Sanicrush XJ multiple unit apparatus; 22.5K Republic credits to start, Imperially mandated raise after 6 months; apply to Enlistment Officer, Death Star @ Alderaan Ring |
| Master cabinetmaker/upholsterer for long established funeral home; full time sunrise to sunset daily; 67K plus hefty medical insurance; no blood test or background check; apply in person at Verkalak Funeral Home, no garlic, mirrors, crosses or stakes |
| Assistant smelter and bladesmith; dirks, daggers & misericordes; broadswords, scimitars & cutlasses; pikes, lances & halberds; hatchets, battle axes & morning stars; 22K, nights only; supreme secrecy necessary; blood oath rendered at Isengard Armory |
| Snow removal: top notch bonded performance by Hoth's hottest fusion equipped company; any depth, any arctic wasteland, any day; no eves; wampa extermination extra; Jack Frost Inc 222/800 |
| Sailing ship commander, Master's Certificate with low morals clause required; duties inc lying, theft, dueling, pillaging, jail breaks, wenching, binge drinking, naval combat, dead reckoning navigation; Caribbean tour with skeleton crew; benefits inc seat on union governing board and hair raising adventures; apply Black Pearl, Tortuga |
| Genetic megalomaniac, Sikh derivation; steadfast devotion to subspecies; strategic wizard without mercy; advanced aerospace engineering skill requisite; Star Fleet Headquartes, San Frisco |
| Chamber + scullery maids, laundress, bootblack, barmaid and waitresses desperately needed; immed employment; $3.75 hr plus tips; inq of Barleyman Butterbur at Prancing Pony, Bree |
Financial plotter planner for dubious interstellar investment firm; corpulence a given; devious market manipulation mandatory; consultant for very wealthy but clandestine clientele; enormous high yield dividends + profit sharing; apply in person at Zorbba Financial Group, Nal Hutta; no weapons |
| Wicked witch trainee; green skin, hook nose, pure evil required; insolubility, hatred for dogs and ability to control mechanical straw-stuffed beasts preferred; tutoring in herbal magic, spell casting, crystal ball divination + cyclonic teleportation; must pass Western Regional Level VI trial by fire; lifetime tenure; title to Ruby Slippers, Yorio Fortress and monkey army; apply to Personnel Dept, Oz Palace |
| Chef skilled at myriad alien cuisines; 38 hr dual swing shift; enthusiastic capacity to blend with diverse staff + clientele; extra arms + ill fitting pants a plus; apply in person at Dexxter Jettster's, Coruscant Borough 2618473-Lambda-4506299 |
| Dragon tamer with 5 years prior experience & own fire shield; must willingly collaborate with Ringwraiths; 50 K gold, full medical and limbo death benefits; apply in person at Morannon, Dagorlad |
| Theme park android repairman - hardware scavenger and diagnostician, MezTec models 1027 through 1034; knowledge of American western traditions circa 1880 helpful; hazard pay, saloon harlot benefits; Westworld, Iron Springs Utah |
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