WHERE ARE THEY NOW? |
| After being deposed from the throne of Mongo, Emperor Harold Ming the First desperately needed a place to hide out. He knew there
was only one place in the whole galaxy where He wouldn't appear abnormal - yep, you guessed it: Los Angeles, California. Just a few
hours after landing near Tarzana, Ming stumbled across a momentous discovery about humans that was more precious than gold or
jewels - so called "free" elections. Harold was flabbergasted by the concept that on Earth, television commercials were the corridor to
power, not purple Death Rays. Could a society that had produced his archenemy, Flash Gordon, really be so gullible as to voluntarily
give political power to the person with the biggest mouth? Ming intended to find out. His nefarious conspiracy began by surreptitiously obtaining false credentials as a "litter gator". Within weeks, Ming the First had become king of the LA ambulance chasers. It wasn't long before he graduated to massive Medicaid fraud and late night info-mercials pushing sexual potency nostrums. Quickly amassing a huge fortune in ill gotten "booty," Harold then set his sights on bigger prey. Following time-honored American tradition, he entered the race for Governor of California. By hiring some unwitting Stooges to pay out "tax rebates" to all registered voters, Ming miraculously became the leading candidate in the 2016 election. And, as they say, the rest is "history". With the repeal of term limits, President Ming will be pulling America's strings for a very long time indeed. And all because of our most sacred Constitutional right - "soft money" speech. But now Ming carries a very big shtick. Tomorrow, the whole world! |