LOS ANGELES Ca. (AP) The Fox Broadcasting Network has announced that it has signed a deal with film director Peter Jackson to produce a sitcom based on "Lord of the Rings." The comedy will be entitled "Married... With Orclets." The half-hour show will chronicle the trials, tribulations, armed robberies and beheadings of the dis-dysfunctional Alkh Bungi litter. Slobbering Alkh precariously labors as a fourth-rate blade sharpener for the Razdug mob in Minas Morgul. His life is turned into a living dungeon by his besotted uncommon law squaw Pigg and their two orclets, broodishly sanguine Bhub and hideous but moronic strumpet Kalli.
The premiere concerns Alkh's comically inept attempts to provide victuals for his hungry tribe when he is laid off from work. Pigg sneers at the stinking maggoty bread Alkh brings home and threatens to knife him in his sleep, sever his poogu and fry it up with some cave lice. Fox Entertainment executive Stephen Damphule explained that budgetary constraints necess- itated the elimination of their pet cave troll Buq in the first episode. Damphule declined to clarify the term "elimination." The replacement sitcom is slated to premiere in late March.