Hi! Billy Mays here for the the amazing nano-power of new and improved Oxy-Kleen. Oxy-Kleen's nanites can be easily programmed
to solve all your cleaning jobs, from household chores to industrial toxic spills. Mold and mildew build-up in your bathroom can be
an unsightly mess. With new Oxy-Kleen, you can eliminate the problem in minutes. Just select the proper option from the menu on
Oxy-Kleen's digital canister and mix the pre-measured powder with ordinary tap water. Then simply sponge mop the entire bathroom -
the floor, the walls, even the ceiling! Oxy-Kleen will not only kill the mold and mildew but it will completely remodel your bathroom
to resemble the Versailles Palace! Isn't that amazing? Who wouldn't want a solid gold toilet like this?|
Having trouble with colon blockages? Just drink one gram of Oxy-Kleen's nano-scrubbers and your alimentary pipes will be shining like new. You'll feel so relieved, no more big doctor bills! Oxy-Kleen also eliminates unsightly blemishes, chronic dandruff and excess body fat while filling in bald spots, straightening your teeth and giving you a nose job, all at the same time. You'll look and feel like a completely different person!
Tired of paying a fortune in automotive fuel bills? Just pour a small amount of Oxy-Kleen in the gas tank, the crankcase and the trans- mission. Your gas guzzler will suddenly obtain 100 hundred miles per gallon and roar like a Lamborghini! Oxy-Kleen also works great in your furnace, no more cold winter nights. One ounce of Oxy-Kleen in the fuel tank and your house will go from frozen wasteland to Polynesian isle in seconds. Oxy-Kleen will even sweep out the soot deposits from your chimney! You'll save so much money, Oxy-Kleen will pay for itself with one application.
Is your computer eaten up with unwanted pop-ups, spyware and porno viuses? Simply enter the binary application code into Oxy-Kleen's menu, mix up the proper amount in the handy spayer bottle and squirt it direct onto your hard drive. Presto! All that invasive code is gone and your computer is running fast and smooth again! Not only that but your computer memory capacity will be upgraded to the level of a Cray Super II mainframe. Simply amazing!
Prosecution witnesses can be a very tough problem but with Oxy-Kleen's nano-power, they're no trouble at all. Just reprogram Oxy-Kleen's nanite sensors with a personal DNA sample. Then swab the nanobots onto the doorknob of the target's home and problem solved, quick and easy! Oxy-Kleen is guaranteed to be safe for all other occupants and visitors including children and pets. After the hit, simply pour on a cup of Oxy-Kleen and presto, the whole mess disappears! Oxy-Kleen also dissolves troublesome divorce cases like magic!
Floodwater damage from levee breaks can be an endless, backbreaking nightmare. But with the proper application of Oxy-Kleen, river bottom sludge vanishes in minutes! Your house will be restored to its original condition and value, no matter how bad the devastation. Works great for the whole neighborhood too! Just use the handy order form and I'll send you our Mega-SuperSize shipment of Oxy-Kleen nano-powder. After the flood waters recede, simply load onto any convenient cropdusting aircraft, don the handy biosuit and dose the whole town. You'll be amazed at how fast and effective Oxy-Kleen dissolves the problem. Oxy-Kleen is just as efficient at cleaning up industrial toxic spills such as petroleum, chlorine, benzene, nitrates, phenol and trioxide compounds, even PCBs.
Biological warfare is always an alarming prospect but with the protection of Oxy-Kleen, no more worries. Just mix up a concentrated dose of anti-viral Oxy-Kleen nanites, load into one of the handy syringes and inject directly into the bloodstream. Plagues and epi- demics are stopped in their tracks! No more messy extinctions. At the same time, Oxy-Kleen will eliminate benign or malignant tumors, arteriosclerosis, meningitis and HIV. Oxy-Kleen also counteracts nerve agents such as Sarin and VX. Best of all, Oxy-Kleen can even eliminate radioactive fallout from powerplant meltdowns. Just reprogram the Oxy-Kleen canister for nuclear emissions and kaboom - half-life is reduced to mere seconds. The kids can play in the backyard again within hours!
Order today and I'll send you not one, not two but three full canisters of programmable Oxy-Kleen for just $19,950,950.95. You also get the the handy spray bottle, the disposable biosuit, twelve radiation dosimeters and a set of six handy syringes, absolutely free! Order right now and I'll include a supply of our amazing easy-to-use Biopoxy, perfect for reattaching severed body parts. Just knead the putty until it turns whites white, press the body parts together and presto, no one will ever notice the difference. Call today!