| .........................A SPECIAL BULLETIN FROM THE *CNN* NEWSROOM......................... |
| ............SLF TERRORIST ATTACKS REPORTED IN LOS ANGELES CALIFORNIA............ |
| ..........HOLLYWOOD STARS TOUR BUS PASSENGERS SUPERGLUED TO SEATS........... |
| .......LARGE CACHE OF BANANA PEELS DISCOVERED AND DESLIPPED BY LAPD....... |
| ............BOXES OF MARBLES SCATTERED ON HOLLYWOOD WALK OF FAME............. |
| .................BRAD AND ANGELINA SPRAYED BY IED CHAMPAGNE BOTTLE.................. |
| ...............WILLIAM SHATNER SHOT WITH ROCKET-PROPELLED CREAM PIE............... |
| ..........PRODUCER JERRY BRUCKHEIMER TRIPPED INTO VAT OF WET CEMENT.......... |
| ............DIRECTOR STEVEN SPIELBERG DEPANTSED IN MALIBU STARBUCKS............. |
| ................TOM CRUISE SMACKED UPSIDE HEAD WITH DEAD MACKEREL................. |
| .......CIGAR EXPLODES IN FACE OF GOVERNOR ARNOLD SCHWARTZENEGGER........ |
| ......................STOOGE LIBERATION FRONT CLAIMS RESPONSIBILITY....................... |
| .........AL-FRISCO LEADER MO HAMANEG VOWS TO CONTINUE INSOYGENCY.......... |
| ......................STAY TUNED TO *CNN* FOR ALL NYUK NEWS UPDATES...................... |