One Dreadfully Boring Night in Hitchcock Dormitory at Bates College
It was a stark and dormy night.The overhead fluorescents in the Commons Room glared down through the roiling reek of rancid pot fumes with mind numbing oppression. The Schlitz keg in the corner dripped ominously, threatening global deluge. The blazing eye of the TV set swept the claustrophobic confines of the dingy little rat hole like a prison searchlight while James Kirk berated some alien shmuck about Federation ideals. Yada yada yada. It was all so boring even the torn poster of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer on the wall took a hike. Chucky's only alternative was to study for the chem exam but instead he was engaged in his usual direct experi-mentation. In fact if he had tried to stand up, he would have fallen face down in the filthy brown furze of the lifeless threadbare carpeting. Suddenly, a hideously deformed zombie clone of Professor Hannibal appeared in the doorway. A meat cleaver glinted redly in his hand. "Who ordered the Tombstone pizza?" he inquired gravely.