| Aug 18, 2014 | Houston Chronicle | G4 |
InterdiMensional Journal Snared By Tholian Net |
| Kingwood TX (AP) Yet another long running sci-fi fanzine has fallen prey to the ravenous Tholian InterNet. InterdiMENSionAl Journal, the newsletter of the Science Fiction and Fantasy fan club of Mensa, has announced that it will cease publication as of today. After 39 years of nearly continuous operation, the intellectually minded fanzine was forced to surrender to the cultural pressure of the infamous Tholian Web. Long time editor of the fanzine, Gilbert "Q" Colbert, explained that it simply became impossible for an amateur bimonthly hardcopy newsletter to compete with the temptation of instantaneous interactive communication within the Tholian Net. "It was like scribbling cryptic messages in invisible ink, stuffing them in bottles and throwing them into the ocean," admitted Colbert. "The only method of continuing to publish would have been to kowtow to the inevitability of technological progress by joining the exponentially proliferating horde of ezines. However none of our members could afford the time to devote to such a project," lamented Colbert haggardly. The insidious cunning of the Tholian Web has already gobbled up nearly the entire publishing industry. Not only small publications such as the IDM Journal but major newspapers and publishing houses have been overwhelmed by its energy draining might. The deviousness of the Tholian Net scheme is stunning to behold. By mesmerizing mankind with videos of green Orion slave girls in skimpy costumes, robo-droids crashing their ATVs into brick walls and renditions of "Over the Rainbow" performed by kazoo and banjo playing Ewoks on web sites such as UBoob and YorFaceMyAss, the sneaky Tholians are threatening to turn all of humanity into a quivering puddle of slobbering protoplasm. "With the fate of all human culture in serious doubt, what should one do or say?" commented IDMJ member Skeet Wermer while languorously peeling a banana. Prolific Journal contributor Niles Wilguess was too busy pickaxing a bomb shelter by hand to respond to any inquiries. When asked to comment on the passing of the Journal, former member Charles Atlas merely shrugged. For information about the menace of the Tholian InterNet, click on the hyperlink for chronicle/tholianweb/psychosedation/deepdeepsleep/jibbering/idiotsuckers.khan |